Thu Mar 31/05
Custodial re-engineering 

"I'm never going to give up this fight. We will pursue this custody battle in the United Kingdom," says Jonathan England, now that his three daughters have finally been returned to their mother. Now you're going to pursue it in the UK? Now that you've given your ex-wife's lawyers all this evidence to use against you? Why didn't you do that in the first place, you crazy idiot?  

For all the photo-ops of screaming little girls and the news cameras five nights a week in the Folksy Single Dad's kitchen, in the end it's the mother who comes off looking the most sympathetic: "I have absolutely no comment when it comes to my children," she told the Star. See, that's nice — that's what a normal person would say. Marla England is far from blameless in this whole affair, but it's nice to see at least an ounce of class.