Fri Apr 22/05
Hands off my beer, Adolph

When it comes to the mass-produced beers, I'm a staunch Labatt's man — I prefer every Labatt product to its Molson counterpart. Blue is palatable; Canadian is gross. 50 is delicious; Ex is just okay. (The one exception is Pilsner, unavailable east of Manitoba and considered swill by most. Not by me, however — I love the Pil and I don't care who knows it.) In short, I am disinclined to give Molson the benefit of the doubt on anything.

And so help me God, if they bugger this up, I will not rest until their breweries are reduced to smoking heaps of rubble. You will know me by the trail of weeping Molson executives. Don't you dare mess with my Creemore Springs Lager, Molson Coors Brewing Company. Don't. You. Dare.